A NEW YEAR A NEW JOURNEY

Oh me where to begin. It is now mid August of 2010. I have let time get away from me in the worst way. I am now the mom of 3 ... Megan is now 5, Peter is 3, and the little Buddy is 2. It has been a fire storm to say the least. With almost 2 years past since the last year I have decided that with life change comes and so therefore I will pick up this journey in my life via documenting all that happens... my new title is dreading the travel but longing for the journey!

We returned at the beginning of July from a wonderfil trip with the in laws to Pawley's Island. It was renewal of the soul I must admit. As my Caleb and I ventured off one day for a quick trip to the store and a ice cold Milkshake we began to talk of all the DRAMA in our lives and needless to say one things led to another and we decided to venture into new terrritory. I made mention to Caleb with the statement " Have you ever thought about packing up and going back to YWAM, I could do travel nursing and you could work with YWAM. " HE stated that yes he thinks of it often and was simply waiting for me to be ready! READY!!!! I was so ready for something new I could scream!!!!!! He stated that I needed to throw a fleece out and see about a nursing job, so that I did. I immediately went home and did that. Was I a little scared, of course, I have never been one to leave the comforts of life especially if it meant packing up and leaving the known for a world of the unknown. I filled out applications and once Monday came... I was getting calls left and right. At first it seemed like closed doors and then all of a sudden I spoke with an agent and BOOM I was in. Now August 20th I am here Dallas, Texas! Why I am here I am still asking God, How long I am here... asking God that too.... What am I doing here..... well I have a call into God about that too! I received a call mid July and I was told there was a position in Dallas... I was then told that they needed me STAT! Well.... I was still employed and as far as I knew I needed to give a 2 week notice. I did that and began preparing myself for the journey. I went home and began to pack and cry... cry adn pack... what had I done... what had I done to my family.. Yes we needed to leave.. the weight of the world was getting too heavy and I was beginning to sink faster and faster. No hope or end in sight. I felt as though I was running a race I was never going to nor was I intended to win. Caleb was sinking too. For so long we had made the most of situations and given until we were rung dry... I hate that feeling and I know he did too. To hurry this story along Caleb decided he was going to make a quick ROAD TRIP with Megan to Idaho to get a better vehicle to carry all of our stuff namely a trailer for travel. Needless to say, I was home with the little guys and it came time for me to leave because I had to be here in DAllas Aug. 9th to orient. SOOOO Aug. 7th rolled around and he was still not home nor was he going to make it home.. I left the boys with the Greens and began the journey on my own.. WAs I scared oh so very scared!!! I did it though. Caleb told me it would be hard, but once I got on the interstate I was smooth sailing. I did a lot of crying and asking GOd why. I so wished that my husband my comforter was there with me. He can be brass sometimes, but for the most part he keeps my head clear. I did not need sensitivity eventhough that is all I wanted. I proceeded to head toward my destination and made it to Little Rock without a problem. I decided it was 3am and I needed to pull over. I did, I felt so big and yet so small! I pressed back tears in the worst way. I wanted to be home. My husband and first born were somehwere in Wyoming, my babies were with people who were not thrilled about having an addition to their home, and then there was me..... ALONE!!!! ALL ALONE!!!! I did not like it one bit. I awoke a few hours later and headed on to Dallas.

I drove a 2 lane road for hours and then all I can say is hello Dallas and hello 14 lane highways. I called for directions to the place in which we were staying and was greeted by an Indian speaking man whom I could not understand. I got to our location and began to Sob. It was 105 I was hot, my car was leaking who knows what and all I could think about was my moms voice telling me "I was going to die, poor me, poor life, poor baby" I had decided I was going to hate this place no matter what. I called Caleb and cried until I had no tears left. THEN I decided I would pull up my booties and head out to fidn this hospital I was going to have to report to bright and early the next morning. I headed out and got so incredibly lost, I found a little day surgery place that let me in. I cried to them and they gave me a Coke and directions. I found where I was going and headed back home. When I returned I felt a new air... I felt I could survive and that the place we were staying was not all that bad after all. I kind of liked it. Caleb to this day will hold it over my head that I hated the place... I explained it was only for the first little bit and that was because I hated life and all that it held in it when I first got to Dallas.

My family was still not there, and would not be until the end of the week, but I knew that each day alone would be a day I could grow closer to God. I knew He was the one I needed to mend a realtionship with and indeed he was the one I needed to make my own. Boy was I scared, I think I was scared because trully making Him Lord of my life meant making him LORD of my life and not putting ANYONE else in the way. That was hard... Oh Lord please show me how. Be easy with me.... please be easy!!!

Yub Eeeewwwww

Well today was another some what hectic day. I started the day off trying to clean for the Sanjuriu Christmas party. As I was sitting down to have cereal with the kiddos Peter kept saying something to me. He is always talking, but this time he was persistant for me to hear. He sat across the table screaming louder and louder... Yub EEEEwwwww!!!! I looked at him and he smiled as if to say..... Don't you understand. I immediately responded with a smile and a laugh. OH I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!! It was as if he had made contact with me and for once I understood. How priceless that was. How wonderful to know he loves me. How wonderful of God to slow me town to "smell the roses". How wonderful God is!

Needless to say, the night went wonderful and as I fell asleep I knew that that little 22 month old in the room next door loved his momma and everything else he touched that day.

Thanksgiving Blessings

It has been such a long time since I have written but I sure have so much to be thankful for. We are in the midst of Christmas in our home. I have decided that this year Megan is now at the age to understand the meaning of Christmas. She is so precious and such a sponge. Last year she wanted to be Mary 24/7, she dressed, acted and needless to say breathed the part of Mary. I had to be joseph, the donkey, a sheep, a shepherd...... whatever she wished.... I was. I was thinking though about the simplicity of Christmas. That sweet baby Jesus ws born in a little dirty probably smelly place. Into a cold dark world that did not leave much to the imagination. What a gift though to know that a King was born into such a strange world to save us. What a blessing! There was nothing brilliant about the birth, no fanfare, no trumpets, no red carpet.... just simplicity..... just breath taking simplicity. I want to instill that in my little ones this Christmas. I want her to feel the importance of family, creativity, imagination. Forget getting caught up in gifts but instead the true Gift of Christmas.

As Megan delighted in the decorating of our Tree this past weekend the wonder and amazement of this season overwhelmed her. She was so thrilled with the old ornaments and lights that encompassed the day. Peter of course he is out for distruction and Benjamin just sat watching the lights flicker. What a sweet feeling to know that your sweet children are in such awe of the season and more than that.... They are in awe of their Savior whether they know it or not. Last night from the back seat of the car MEgan said to me.... "mom what does birthed mean" I immediately explained to her that it was the same as the word born.... Mary Birthed Jesus or Jesus was born to Mary... she then stated.... "I know I know mom Jesus was born to Mary and Joseph to save us from our sins he was then hung on a cross by soldiers to die for our sins". I was awe struck..... I said, " yes sweet heart he was born to give us life forever" WOW!!!! She understands... why not foster that, why not start now instilling that in her. What a blessing to know that as a mommy I have that opportunity to start now.

Let that be my mission this season oh Lord, may I stay so focused on you that I never stray from your truth.

Quiet Time

Yes Yes Yes, this is an old picture, but it captures what I am going to write about. I think it might just be one of my favorites. I am trying to play catch up with my blogging, So I am going to go back to August 10, 2008. It was our anniversary and we were invited out to the lake with Lorrie and Fred. I have never been to the lake before, not had my kids. I was really thrilled because I thought what a wonderful way to spend an anniversary as well as a SUnday. We get very few "family days" and this was one I was not going to pass up. We went to Clark Park and Fred was nice enough to take many trips out picking up people for rides out in the boat. Megan loved it. She even I think got a little brave and tried to swim a little in the lake. Peter well, he just fell asleep once on the boat. Caleb and I just enjoyed the quiet wide open spaces. It was by far the most peaceful day we have had in a long time. I just loved it!

The reason I chose this picture was because I think it says so much about friendship. There are very few people in the world that you can call as your real friend. One who you can talk to, share stories with, laugh with, and in the end they love you still the same. We headed to the lake with our friends, bathing suits and all and had one of those, " Be yourself days" IT was very nice and enjoyable.

Thanks Durham's for such a great day!

JUST A SINGIN'

We went to church Sunday morning and Peter and Megan decided to go up and sing with their Papa. They have their fake microphones that they give them and so off they go... once again cheap entertainment. We then came home and I think took a 3 hour nap. We woke up ate taco's and then watched this movie that was recommended by our good friend Lorrie "Meet the Spartans" CAn I say STUPID!!!! Oh well, cheap entertainment! I must admit it was funny.

We had a great weekend. It was really nice to just hang out with friends and family. It was long overdue.

SCRUB A DUB DUB

We had a great weekend. SAturday started out very busy, and ended with a visit to the Durham house for a much needed game of ROOK. Once again we were the loosers but it is just as fun. I love going over there because the kids have a ball and so do Caleb and I. DO not ask why I have a picture of the kids taking a bath, but I thought it was a fun picture. See Grace Durham gave Megan some purple foam bath soap and therefore my kids were entertained for about 45 minutes in the bath. Thank you Grace. I got so much done. I got laundry put away, Benjamin fed..... easy entertainment! Thanks Durham's for a great Saturday.

Louisville

Last weekend we went to KY to a tournament. It was more a time to just get away as a family. Megan loves going to a hotel and so we thought why not take the whole family. We arrived LATE Friday night and got up the next morning to go to the tournament. The kids did so well and to tell the truth there were enough people that we knew there that it made it fun. The city is beautiful and very well kept. EVEN the Wal-Mart was top class. It has these marble looking floors. It puts ours to shame.

Oh well we had a great time and here are some pictures of the weekend. I just like being with my family! It is very enjoyable.