Yub Eeeewwwww

Well today was another some what hectic day. I started the day off trying to clean for the Sanjuriu Christmas party. As I was sitting down to have cereal with the kiddos Peter kept saying something to me. He is always talking, but this time he was persistant for me to hear. He sat across the table screaming louder and louder... Yub EEEEwwwww!!!! I looked at him and he smiled as if to say..... Don't you understand. I immediately responded with a smile and a laugh. OH I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!! It was as if he had made contact with me and for once I understood. How priceless that was. How wonderful to know he loves me. How wonderful of God to slow me town to "smell the roses". How wonderful God is!

Needless to say, the night went wonderful and as I fell asleep I knew that that little 22 month old in the room next door loved his momma and everything else he touched that day.

Thanksgiving Blessings

It has been such a long time since I have written but I sure have so much to be thankful for. We are in the midst of Christmas in our home. I have decided that this year Megan is now at the age to understand the meaning of Christmas. She is so precious and such a sponge. Last year she wanted to be Mary 24/7, she dressed, acted and needless to say breathed the part of Mary. I had to be joseph, the donkey, a sheep, a shepherd...... whatever she wished.... I was. I was thinking though about the simplicity of Christmas. That sweet baby Jesus ws born in a little dirty probably smelly place. Into a cold dark world that did not leave much to the imagination. What a gift though to know that a King was born into such a strange world to save us. What a blessing! There was nothing brilliant about the birth, no fanfare, no trumpets, no red carpet.... just simplicity..... just breath taking simplicity. I want to instill that in my little ones this Christmas. I want her to feel the importance of family, creativity, imagination. Forget getting caught up in gifts but instead the true Gift of Christmas.

As Megan delighted in the decorating of our Tree this past weekend the wonder and amazement of this season overwhelmed her. She was so thrilled with the old ornaments and lights that encompassed the day. Peter of course he is out for distruction and Benjamin just sat watching the lights flicker. What a sweet feeling to know that your sweet children are in such awe of the season and more than that.... They are in awe of their Savior whether they know it or not. Last night from the back seat of the car MEgan said to me.... "mom what does birthed mean" I immediately explained to her that it was the same as the word born.... Mary Birthed Jesus or Jesus was born to Mary... she then stated.... "I know I know mom Jesus was born to Mary and Joseph to save us from our sins he was then hung on a cross by soldiers to die for our sins". I was awe struck..... I said, " yes sweet heart he was born to give us life forever" WOW!!!! She understands... why not foster that, why not start now instilling that in her. What a blessing to know that as a mommy I have that opportunity to start now.

Let that be my mission this season oh Lord, may I stay so focused on you that I never stray from your truth.

Quiet Time

Yes Yes Yes, this is an old picture, but it captures what I am going to write about. I think it might just be one of my favorites. I am trying to play catch up with my blogging, So I am going to go back to August 10, 2008. It was our anniversary and we were invited out to the lake with Lorrie and Fred. I have never been to the lake before, not had my kids. I was really thrilled because I thought what a wonderful way to spend an anniversary as well as a SUnday. We get very few "family days" and this was one I was not going to pass up. We went to Clark Park and Fred was nice enough to take many trips out picking up people for rides out in the boat. Megan loved it. She even I think got a little brave and tried to swim a little in the lake. Peter well, he just fell asleep once on the boat. Caleb and I just enjoyed the quiet wide open spaces. It was by far the most peaceful day we have had in a long time. I just loved it!

The reason I chose this picture was because I think it says so much about friendship. There are very few people in the world that you can call as your real friend. One who you can talk to, share stories with, laugh with, and in the end they love you still the same. We headed to the lake with our friends, bathing suits and all and had one of those, " Be yourself days" IT was very nice and enjoyable.

Thanks Durham's for such a great day!

JUST A SINGIN'

We went to church Sunday morning and Peter and Megan decided to go up and sing with their Papa. They have their fake microphones that they give them and so off they go... once again cheap entertainment. We then came home and I think took a 3 hour nap. We woke up ate taco's and then watched this movie that was recommended by our good friend Lorrie "Meet the Spartans" CAn I say STUPID!!!! Oh well, cheap entertainment! I must admit it was funny.

We had a great weekend. It was really nice to just hang out with friends and family. It was long overdue.

SCRUB A DUB DUB

We had a great weekend. SAturday started out very busy, and ended with a visit to the Durham house for a much needed game of ROOK. Once again we were the loosers but it is just as fun. I love going over there because the kids have a ball and so do Caleb and I. DO not ask why I have a picture of the kids taking a bath, but I thought it was a fun picture. See Grace Durham gave Megan some purple foam bath soap and therefore my kids were entertained for about 45 minutes in the bath. Thank you Grace. I got so much done. I got laundry put away, Benjamin fed..... easy entertainment! Thanks Durham's for a great Saturday.

Louisville

Last weekend we went to KY to a tournament. It was more a time to just get away as a family. Megan loves going to a hotel and so we thought why not take the whole family. We arrived LATE Friday night and got up the next morning to go to the tournament. The kids did so well and to tell the truth there were enough people that we knew there that it made it fun. The city is beautiful and very well kept. EVEN the Wal-Mart was top class. It has these marble looking floors. It puts ours to shame.

Oh well we had a great time and here are some pictures of the weekend. I just like being with my family! It is very enjoyable.

The Weekend!

This weekend was pretty uneventfull. Saturday morning I stayed home and cleaned and ended up going to watch a demo in Oak Ridge that Caleb was doing. The kids like going and so do I. My week was completely stressful and not what I would say peaceful. It was just me inside, things were not bad onteh outside, I think I was just extrememly emotional, stressed, and a little frustated. I hate to say this, but for a person my age I am finally becoming who I want to be, but in the process, I am confused about things in my past, confused about so many feeling I have toward past relationships and for that reason I think I was just at my breaking point. Thank goodness Caleb understands and is very compassionate to me.

Sunday we went to church and afterwards went to eat. The sermon was good and seemed to be what both Caleb and I needed to hear. After church we went to lunch with some friends and then home for a great afternoon nap. I love those. Last night I hit the grocery store ( a much needed trip) and then home for icecream. I love that too!!!

Overall, a very enjoyable weekend and for the most part very restful.

Swim Lessons!!!

This is week one back at work Finsihed! It has not been that bad. Caleb has done great with the kids, the kids have done great with him, and I have done just fine being away. MEgan started Swim lessons and LOVES it. She likes her teacher Ian, eventhough he taught her the word "damnit". We had a little talk and all is ok. SHe is doing very well and I think will not be so scared of the water.

This week as had it's share of stresses, work, Caleb's work and the people in it, kids, places to be, food to fix, lunches and diaper bags to pack, but one thing is true when you get home, you are home and it feels soooooo good.

One Last Hurrah!!!

Well it time now to think about heading back to work. My first day back was July 14th and so we decided that we would make the most of it. Caleb and I decided we would go out just us Saturday night on the bike. Eventhough we both hate leaving the kids, We both felt I needed it. We both needed it. As we began to leave we noticed the clouds were looking stormy so we took the car instead. We ate at Aubrys and then last minute decided to go to a movie. We saw Zohan and it was very funny.

The next day we headed to the zoo and had a great time. Megan and Peter loved the snakes ( YUK) and really everything they could touch they were into. Megan enjoyed showing Caleb everything at the zoo. After that we headed to WAl-Mart and to Taco Bell.... the perfect Sunday!

I hate the thought of going back to work, My routine has been such fun this summer. I know though that it will all be ok and that once again I will step into a different routine. Caleb will have the kids and I have no doubt that he will do a great job.

4th if July

Megan with her face painted on the 4th of July

I know I know, it is July 16th and I am just now writing. That is ok at least I am writing.

Most of the time on the 4th of July we do pretty uneventful things. This year Caleb decided that we should go to the Oak Ridge Freedom festival and it was actually a lot of fun. We arrived about 5:00pm and they had many games for the kids. We met a bunch of friends there so all the kids could play. The ultimate plan was to stay for the fire works that night. We had perfect seats and were ready to watch them UNTIL>>> a storm came. WE all ran for shelter and then decided to go to one of the person's house that lives close by until it passed by. Once the storm was over it was time to go back and I must say that the view we now got for the fireworks was not the best. That was ok. we still had a lot of fun watching them and being together as a family. I have learned through this maternity leave the real true value of family. I am still not speaking to my mom, that is not my choice, but I have learned how precious family is and how I should savor every moment possible while I can.

Just a Lazy Summer

I think by far this is the laziest summer I have had in a long time. Yes we have done many things, like VBS, Swimming, running errands, going and playing with friends. But we have also slept in and just enjoyed being HOME! I have enjoyed having this summer home with my kids. I think for the first time I am enjoying every day. Megan is enjoying playing with her little neighbor Payton and Peter he is starting to develop his own little personality. It is so fun to watch. They are both engulfed in their little brother and love it when he wakes up from his naps so they can play with him. I love watching the dynamic between siblings. Like my aunt Julia once told me after Peter was born.... " A sibling is the best gift you could ever give a child." I am not sure if they see it now, but one day I am sure they will.

That Little Mouse!!!

Today we had a meeting with my parents and needless to say it did not go so good. Mom and dad stormed out and so who knows what the future will bring....

AFter they left I told Caleb I wanted to do something fun. He chose Chucky Cheese. I always feel so overwhelmed there with all the stuff and kids going every which way... But... we always have fun. Caleb loves it he is such a little kid. The funny thing was MEgan kept giving her tickets away to people who did not have any and it drove Caleb NUTS!!! Peter he is just Peter he walked around trying to eat everyone's pizza. Everytime I looked around he was sitting at another person's table.

Eventhough Chucky Cheese is a complete waste of money, it is so wonderful to go to a place where just about everyone is happy. Oh so fun!!! I like seeing my family happy.

After that we went to Wal-MArt and grocery shopped. Atleast I had help. These days I almost require it.

Needless to say it ended up being a great day after all.

(Lorrie thanks for the picture)

Playing Catch Up

MEgan at the Ripleys Aquarium

Peter and Gary his Grandpa playing "submarine man" The wonder of a Child!!!!

Yes I am more than behind on blogging. I just seem to forget or end up being too tired. We have just been visted by the in-laws. Believe it or not it was a very good trip. It was Megan's second time to see them and of course Peter and Benjamin's first. We saw EVERY flea market in Tennessee but it was fun. THey were very nice to have around and very helpful. I think by the day they left we were all ready to say goodbye. THe kids had done enough stretching and I think they did very well for having complete strangers in their space for so long.

I hate to admit this but I do wish they were a little closer so that we could see them a little more. I think the kids could benefit in some ways. Gary loved the kids and was terrific with them.

Overall I would rate the trip and "A"

Still so Thankful!!

I promised to make this Blog a little shorter. We have now been home a week. What a blessing. The week has been wonderful. Yes emotions were on high gear during the week. Those wonderful Post Partum emotions. The weekend they have tapered off I think because Caleb has been home more and we have been able to be together all weekend. he has been such a help to me and so when he has been gone ( even to the mail box) I have wanted him back. I guess that is good. People have been so wonderful to bring meals and needless to say I have been pampered by those who care for me most. Thank you to everyone who was a part of helping us out with visits and food for our first week home. Thank God for Friends!!!

I am now sitting at the computer and have completed 2 blogs.. Benjamin is eating, Peter is sleeping and Caleb and Megan are at the grocery store. I am so thankful I did not have to go.

Like I have said before never underestimate the power of another child. Just because you have a girl and boy and have met your quota.... I have found out there is nothing like adding to your family another life. Am I ready to do it again.... yes... one day... but I think I might try to wait.... just a little.

So Thankful!!

Welcome to the world little one!! May 9th was such a wonderful day! Let's just say it was the day that I had been waiting 9 months for. I will start off by saying that anyone who says that 2 children is enough has not had 3 or 4. What a blessing they are missing. The day started out very quiet. I headed to work as usual feeling a little different than the norm. I told Caleb to stay by his phone and that who knows I might be calling him. Needless to say at 7:15 I walked into school ( work) and the halls were very quiet. I was early so hardly anyone was there and BINGO my water broke. I had to get a schedule done for the Pediatric clinical site and the lady taking over for me. I had to give a test, I had a lot to do much luckily I was prepared and it was all ready but the revised schedule. I quickly sat down and revised the schedule not telling anyone what was going on because I knew they would shew me off to the hospital. Needless to say, the schedule did not take long to complete. I had everything ready on my desk for my substitute and off I went. I called Caleb and from there we both headed for the hospital. I was so glad to see this day.

I arrived at the hospital and they made me a direct admit into L&D and from there I was admitted for Labor. Caleb had to wait on Amy to come take care of the kids and then he arrived about 9:00. We had such a great time just he and I. I never new the peace that would fill the room. I was visited by many old friends that I had worked with and Caleb and I had time to just sit and talk, laugh, reminicse, and rest. It was such a blessing. We had such a sense of family beginning for the first time. To so many it sounds crazy, but he was able to care for me and coach me through labor like he and I had really always wanted. It was just nice... very much a bonding time. This baby was trully sent from God to bond us to each other. We needed this time together.

11:00, 12:00 came and went. ( those were the bets for the time of birth) at 1:00 I new it was time to push and so I just knew it would go fast but this little buger was turned side ways so ONCE AGAIN I had to work for him. At 2:05 here he was little Benjamin what a miracle. Dr. Mckeown made perfectly clear that they were to lay him on my belly and so as soon as that was done I began rubbing him off ( as if I were back in my L&D days) making sure he would pink up and be pretty for his debut in the warmer. Caleb ran off to the warmer and began snapping pictures. Dr. Mckeown ( as strange as it sounds} began talking about what a miracle life trully is.

What a treasure!!!

Needless to say after everyone left the room Caleb and I just were in awe of God's precious gift. He had given us not only one of His very own to care for, but he had given us somethng as husband and wife we had never experienced before.

Caleb left later on to get the kids and they soon got me to my post partum room where I was able to rest. Mom and Dad came up and that was a very nice visit.

May 11th, Mother's Day we came home. What a sweet day it was. Caleb fixed dinner and we all snuggled in with this new little life. Megan the little mommy, and Peter a little scared but loving to the baby.

I am thankful for so many things...I am so overwhelmed with Joy!!

Still Snotty!!

Today Caleb has the kids and so I am at work. I called the doctor and he wants to see them tomorrow in the office for a re-check. Today is also grocery day and so that should be really fun with 2 sick kids. I am hoping to get some things that I can make up adn freeze for when the baby comes. I hope I can think once I get there. I am so ready to have this baby, but then and again.... not really. I am scared. I look at moms with 3+++ kids and they do fine so I will do fine too I assume. I just feel like I have so much left to do to prepare. Caleb seems to think he will be here this week.... YIKES!!! I hope not, well whenever God sees fit for him to come.

I am a little depressed over the fact that my parents have still not come forth to talk with Caleb and I feel like it is not important to them. Eventhough I know I will be fine I would love to have moms help just for the little things that might come up. Until they do though, Caleb does not want them to have contact with us. I pray and cry everynight hoping tomorrow will be better with them.

Oh well I am off and running... back to work.

Are we better yet!!!!

For the past week now we have been so sick at our house. It all started out last Monday with Megan and her high Fever and Peter with mucky yucky eyes and nose. By Wednesday we were at the Dr's office getting heavy antibiotic treatment. The fever continued and continued and well is still around but by Saturday night we were at children's with both children. After 72 hours of antibiotics Peter still had his croup and Megan had a fever of 105.0. I was at my wits end and so we went in. After chest x-rays and sinus x-rays, blood work and breathing treatments. We had a new antibiotic for Megan and Peter was a little better but not great. Yesterday I told Caleb we HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! We get get out last night and I think it did them both some good. We went to get a burger and I think they enjoyed the change of scenery. They are both still so pitiful. Today I am at work and Caleb has the kiddos and from what I hear they are surviving. I am trying to get them well so that we can focus on this baby that will be here very soon. Caleb and I have managed to stay well for the most part and hopefully we will get the kids better this week. I must admit though even though I have been a little stir crazy, I will cherish the sweet time that I have had with them. Peter and Megan have been so sick and needy and I am so glad I have been able to be there for them. Lots of hugs and sweet cuddles have come my way lately. I know that life will be getting busier soon and as my skin was crawling to get out the house I just took a deep breath and settled into knowing that I was were I needed to be and that I would always cherish that down time with them. There is nothing like family and there is nothing like the feeling of being there for them when they needed me the most.

A trip to the Zoo!!

Friday afternoon we headed to the zoo, we went with wonderful friends and of course Megan was just in her element. She always has so much fun being with them. As you can see, Peter was worn out. It was a members only, butterfly exhibit. There were so many people there, but we had such a good time and Megan is still talking about it. I am so glad she has good quality friends that love her back. We can not wait until our next trip.

Wonderful Feelings!!!

Today is definitely going to be a beautiful day! I woke up early and got some stuff ready for work and now I am here. I was thinking on my drive in how wonderful the Lord is. He gives us great days despite the rain and cold we just went through just a short time ago. This week I went through my first graduation of nursing students. I must admit I was realy sad. I have taken them as my own and in some ways I think that is good and in other ways, it makes it very hard to part with them. These are not ordinary students, they were my first class and most likely my favorite. I ADORED them so much. These people ranged from 18 all the way up to 60++ years old. I loved them for their shear determination and drive to keep on truckin no matter what the day looked like. For many of them, this was their last if not their only chance to break free and make something of themselves. I know what it is like to go through nursing school and how hard it is. I was single and no children and it was HARD!!! These people have families and are raising grandchildren. Most of them are from abusive situations and are just crawling around in life already. I am so proud of them.

Today we are going to the zoo and I am excited about that too. For many reasons, one would be I really like taking my kids places that they would enjoy. I feel like they trapes around with me all the time and now this is their turn. Also we are going with the Durham clan and we really like being with them too.

Overall it should be a great day and I am hoping to get out of work early or atleast maybe eat some lunch outside.

I hope all who read this have a great day too!!!

This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be GLAD!!!!

Spring???

I know I know it has been a while since I have written. I have such good intentions, but I just do not. We had a great weekend. We were able to get the yard mowed, and the kids got to go to Aarons birthday party, They love parties!!! I also love seeing them have so much fun. I was able to get some cleaning and organizing done. I am getting a little impatient with all the mess, but I know it will not matter in the end. I think I was a little tired this weekend due to a busy week before. I am feeling better now though.

This week I graduate my first class at school. I have loved them so much. I do not think I will ever have a connection to any other class like I do this group. I am so pleased with who they have become and how far they have come. So many are from run down lives and they have finally accomplished something BIG!!! I know I will shed a tear when they leave.

The kids are getting ready to go down for a nap and so I think I will get a little cleaning done, or maybe not!

He knows my name!

Do you ever feel so insignificant in such a BIG WORLD? I do sometimes. I feel a little overwhelmed with life sometimes. That is not necessarily a bad thing. I guess if I always felt on-top of things there would be something wrong. As a mom sometimes I feel like I am the sounding board for the whole family. Megan and Peter have needs that sometimes only a mommy can handle. I love being needed by them. Many times even Caleb walks in and sometimes it seems as if he just needs to talk. So... we talk and then by the time we are finished he has fallen asleep. Did I say I do love being needed by them. I think that that is one job that comes with wife and motherhood that is a priveledge. There are times though when once the house is quiet I want my turn to spill the beans about my day, but did I mention the house is alreay quiet .... meaning everyone is asleep.

I was in church Yesterday and were were singing a song that spoke in such a big way to me. I feel sometimes so overwhelmed and like no one really understands. I feel like at times since I do work and am in someways starting a family ( eventhough by the time a person has 3 their family should be well established) that I don't really fit in with the norm. It is a struggle that I deal with because I sometimes feel so unequipt for life. I just go on a wing and a prayer and hope I am doing the correct thing. Anyway.... The words to the song go like this:

I have a Maker, he calls me his own. Before even time began my life was in HIs hands......

He knows my name, He knows my every though, He sees each tear that falls and He hears me when I call.

I thought to myself. What more could a person want. What more could a person ask for. HE knows me for me. He thinks I am so important and he hears my heart everytime I call out, and even when I forget to.

This blog I know seems down, but it is not meant to. It is so wonderful to know that even when life is blowing like a hurricaine that he is the calmness and the steady anchor that holds me in place.

He is so concerned with little me, just as I am concerned with the skinned knee or the empty bottle, or even the hard day that comes in on my husbands shoulder's.

It's such a nice thought!!!!

Nesting or Spring Cleaning?????

Well today I have hit this house hard. Of course who knows why it is already in the process of being messed up again. I have to brag because I never do the things I have done today. I have cleaned base boards. Bleached my whole bathroom including the jets in my tub (YUK!!!) I have vacuumed and swept, mopped and dusted... I have found a new love for Murphey's oil soap. I have washed my cabinets and floors. And done some laundry. It is all the type of cleaning that you and only you knows that you did. Caleb came in and I told him all I did and he was very uninterested. I know he is glad it is done, but to him it was fine the way it was. I have washed 10 totally white cloths that were black by the time I finsihed with them. Oh and I rearranged the furniture in Peter's room to make more room for the new baby. I am in the process of washing the clothes that will go on the new baby when he is born. Most are hand me down's those are the best.

Oh well I am proud of myself because I usually stop have way through and never really finish.

I am tired now and so I think I will put the kids down for a nap and stick my swollen feet up.

I found out yesterday that the baby is breech so we are all praying that he will turn. I am sure he will. Guess I better get ready though for whatever is to come.

Be Who YOU Are!!!

So many times I have felt like I was in a rut. Trying to be somebody I was not. I grew up and had a wonderful life. I was exposed to many things and enjoyed my life. I have been doing some sole searching this past year so far and it has come to a major point this past week. Through my search I have realized how throughout life I have been told who I was and what I liked. Even to be more exact I have been taught what I did not like. Anyway, yes I am a mom and a wife, I am an employee at a large state school, I am a friend to those who let me in. I am all the things that everyone else in the world seems to be, but I have realized just this past month..... I AM ME!!! I like me, yes I have days and even weeks where life is hectic and I lose track of me, but for the most part I enjoy being the person that I am. I think what has inspired this intense sole searching is the fact that I have this little 3 year old that is busting at the seams of life. She is such an individual who is so ready to take on the world. She is uninhibited, she is smart, ( too smart sometimes), she is definite on what she wants most all the time. I look at her and think, "Please God do not ever take this away and do not let me do anything to stunt this drive within her."

I think looking at her I have realized that I am a person too. I am a person too. I have for so long stiffened the gifts God has given me because they did not fit in with the norm. I have put aside a passion for life, my husband, my friends, and even my God, because it seemed like it was not the right time or place to exhibit it. Am I ashamed of this, of course I am. I feel sometimes as if God has called me to be something that I have decided on my own to stiffle.

I guess what I am saying is that I am so ready to be what the inside of my heart was made to me. I am ready to do things even if people will think I am odd. I am ready to love life no matter what happens. I am ready to serve God no matter how extreme it seems. I am ready to act as in love with life, my husband, my kids, my daily routine as I really am. Yes I would love to stay home with my children, but now it seems that is not in the "plan". So instead of complaining, I will be happy where God has placed me because there is just as much for me to do for God there as anywhere.

Ok here is the thing I have been a chameleon my whole life fitting in, blending in. I was molded to be this way.... I am here to say.... I am breaking out of this mold... so WATCH OUT WORLD!!!

Sometimes You Just Want a Taco

Ok Ok... This is weird I know, but I am so HUNGRY for a Taco. I love Taco Bell. Ever since Lorrie said she went there yesterday, that is all I have wanted. (Thanks Lorrie).

I went to bed craving it and now I still want one. Truthfully right now it is all I can think of.

Well I will try to think deeper from here on out. THis has been a good week. Busy, but good. Everyday this week and next have been early mornings when I have to be at work at 6:30. I HATE getting up to an alarm clock and sure enough I have had to. I miss seeing my kids in the morning. I get through Monday and Tuesday and look foward on Wednesday to my therapy session at church. I love just talking about sometimes pointless stuff. Just normal people talking about fun stuff and life. I learned I am just as crazy as everybody else. VERY COMFORTING!!!!

Today being Friday means that I am one step away from the weekend. We are hoping to get together with the Durham's this weekend. We always enjoy that.

This will mean nothing to anyone who reads this but I have to leave you with Megan's bedtime prayer last night... it went like this." Jesus...bless mommy, pappa, peter, me, zion, and baby benjamin caleb, i pray he blows out of mommies belly really soon, I pray that you would give us all our sins and bless me when I sleep. Amen"

You just can not get much more precious than a child.

Ok 1 hour till lunch and I think I will go hunt a taco bell.

EASTER SUNDAY!

I love Easter, no matter what the weather it is such a wonderful day. A day filled with so much happiness and hope. Today we arose and went to church, our church has just started having morning worship so we really enjoyed that. Peter was dedicated today and that was a real blessing. I know some people do not feel it totally necessary, but I just really like the idea. After that Megan participated in a dance and she did so well. ( of course I was so proud of her).

We came home and all took great naps. Those feel so good!

I'm still trying to get my house in order, I pray it happens soon I am getting over the little messes. I know it could be worse. Oh well too much to be thankful for to get down about house work.

Christ the Lord is Risen TODAY!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

I LOVE SPRING!!!

Yesterday was a great day. We started out with plans to go to the zoo. AS soon as Caleb got home that is where we headed. We had a great time there. Megan loved the animals. We were able to see an elephant panting and then when we got to the gorilla's ( which is my favorite) he was sitting right at the window. It was so funny because Megan was amazed and shouted very loudly...." look mom, his chest looks like pappa's." We all laughed.

After getting home, Caleb had to run out to do some more teaching and the kids took a great nap. To say the least it was a very peaceful day.

Today, we are going to get Easter Hair cuts and then to an egg hunt in the afternoon.

I love Easter, there always seems to be such a light feeling in the air. No matter what the weather, there is a freedom that only comes in the Spring.

WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!

Saturday started out busy as usual. I went to the Women's Expo to see Caleb and his group do a demo on Womens self defense. It was great, I loved going to the expo ( I have not gotten to go in a while) and I enjoyed being able to support Caleb. I had Peter with me, while Megan got to go to her Grandmommy's to dye Easter Eggs and make cookies. Peter was great and Megan had fun too. As soon as we arrived home, Caleb got home too. It was nice because he cery rarely is home when we are. We had a very low key night and enjoyed being together.

Today is Sunday and we arose to a beautiful day. We decided that today was the day we were going to lay our floors in the living room. Caleb is going to have a down week with no co-ops so we thought it would be a great week. Needless to say Caleb is almost done, he had about 5 more boards to lay and the floor looks great. I am so sore from helping I can barely move, but it is a great "tired" feeling. The kids helped where they could and now they are tucked tightly into bed. We missed our, what has been our Sunday night ritual, with the Durham's of getting together and playing cards,but atleast we have the floor done and now it is just time to put everything back into its place. I think had I taken Caleb away from his job, it might have never gotten finished.

Before I close for the night, I was thinking how wonderful it is to see your Children begin to understand things about the Bible. Last night we were watching a movie and there was a bad guy in it and Megan asked Caleb what it meant to be a bad guy. Caleb explained in a very childlike way and she turned to him and said. " Pappa when you are a bad guy your heart is black with sin, but if you asked Jesus to come into your heart it will be white as snow." I was shocked!!! I could not believe how much she is really had been listening to me as I talked to her and read her stories. More than that, This Easter season I have seen her soak up more and more of God's truth so much that I heard her tell her doll today that Jesus died on a cross. I know it might not be completly understood as it should be, but I do see how important it is for me to not give up but to continue teaching her even when I think her little mind is so far away.

I look foward to this Easter week!!!! Spring is here ( I hope)

I'M BACK HOME

Well it is Friday evening and I am home. I had to go out of town with work. It was a nice time, but I always worry about the home front while I am gone. I hate leaving my family, but I guess it is good for everyone. I learned a lot and got some great ideas to implement in my class. I needed some help. When I arrived home the kids were having such fun with their grandmommy that they were not too thrilled to see me. That is ok, that just tells me they had a great time with her. Caleb is getting ready for a tournament tomorrow so I guess it will be very late when I see him.

I am very glad to be home and back in my own comfy envirionment at home. I really like being home.

The Little Things

I have realized more today than ever how the Lord cares about the little things in life that we worry so much about. He knows our every need and is there before we even think to ask for Him. I love that song that states that His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. It is such a comfort knowing that even if the problem is minute, He thinks it is big enough and He handles it with such care. He is so good!

Rain Rain Rain

Today has started out well for the most part. I am getting to go into work a little later due to me working late other day. I enjoy when I can get up and get my kids going and out the door. I think my mom is coming today to watch them because my husband has to get some things done today before and after his co-op. It is fine. On days like this I kind of like them to be cozy in their own home.

Well in my small break from writing this, my mom called and she said she is not feeling well. What do I do now. I have to teach at 10:30 and Caleb is already gone for the day. This is the turmoil that a mom goes through daily. The neat thing is, is that he always provides something in my distress. I think my dad is going to end up coming which will be good. Mom may too. It is just so stressful to not know what is going on with the most important people in your life, your little ones.

Oh well, it will work out and I know all will be well. Caleb will be gone most of the weekend doing some seminar. I have my work cut out for me here putting all my stuff in a place. I am looking foward to being home. I like getting out, but I think I will enjoy some home time.

I think for today I will try to stay as positive as I can and remember that the Lord is in charge of every minor detail and that he cares more for my family than I will ever.

Well Megan just walked in with red fingernail polish all over the front of her dress. I better go.

Thursday

Well today was very busy. I got up early and started my day by going to my grandaddy's inorder to meet the movers to help me get some of his furniture to bring to my house. The morning went very fast. The feeling was very bitter sweet. I love his condo and I have always found so much peace through the years as I have entered into it. Today, since I was the last to get my stuff, as I entered the condo, it was very empty. I began to think over how many times I had prowled through his cabinets for whatever I could find, or showed up only to find him asleep sitting straight up in his easy chair. He was always a man who loved giving to other people.

Anyway as I was moving stuff out and into my own home I got into work mode and began to forget all my feelings that I had had earlier in the day. I began to put stuff away and make room for what was new. I almost felt as if he were right there coaching me along to keep going . Needless to say I left for a while and went to get the kids and take Megan to dance. When I came home tonight I felt such a peace. THe kids were asleep and as I came in, my house just smelled like him and his house. He was the cleanest man I have ever met and everything he touched just oozed freshness.

I have never met a man more polished and refined in all my life.

I think in the days that have laid between his death and today I have felt like I have not had time to just CRY. I think I find that the times when I am alone I fill my mind with anything I can to not have to think about the inevitable. I felt I was silly to not let go of him. He was my sounding board, my dear friend, a brilliant grandfather and even better great grandfather. He was such a hero to me. I do not think I have wanted to let that go. I felt like today that the Lord allowed me wonderful closure and the ability to know that even HE ( God) cares about the small stuff more than anyone else ever will. It is wonderful to see the Lord show up when you need him the most.

The WEEKEND!!!!

Today started out to be a pretty good day. The weather is gorgeous and that is always wonderful to lift your spirits. Since it is Saturday it is house cleaning day around here. Lots of laundry and things to do. One of my favorite things to do is to mop. I feel like everything is 10 times brighter and cleaner once that is done. As I finished mopping I noticed that Megan was concocting something in the living room. She kept telling me her name was Mary and she was baking a cake. I left her alone mainly because she was at that point not hurting anything and she was acting very good. Needless to say about 10 minutes later I noticed that she had definitely maked a cake and the remnants were all over the carpet and toy chest. The concoction included baby power, dry cereal and water. Yum yum!!!!

Needless to say the mess was made and now it was time to clean up! I laughed under my breath because number one she was having a ball and was so proud of herself and more than that she thought she had done such a wonderful thing for her daddy and I. It was not too big of a mess, nothing that will not vacuum up.

Oh well I am off to clean again. I should be finished sometime before midnight!!!!

Friday

My Computer has been down at home all week, so this is my first time to get to my computer. Today I am back to work so it was another early morning. It was a good morning I got here on time which is great! Peter and Megan were still asleep so I did miss seeing them, but sometimes it makes for an easier exit when they are sleeping. Today they go with their dad to a co-op. I had everything laid out and ready. I hope it all goes smoothly. I guess I will know if it does not. I feel as the mom I need to make sure everything is perfect for their day.

I have been dealing this week with Megan and her little tantrums. I just want to go to my room, bury my head under my pillow and scream. I feel like all I do these days is discipline her. I know that is what God would have me do. For instance, last night, I was on the phone trying to schedule something for work and she wanted her "baby Jesus" to be wrapped up "better" and she proceeded to scream right in my face. I immediately got off the phone and spanked her so hard. I hated it, but I felt like for the first time I handled the incident right when it happened. I have a habit of not dealing with things immediately, which is a problem. I know it will get better I just have to be one step ahead and I struggle with that is about all aspects of my life.

Oh well I have just poured out my frustrations. I am hoping for a good day today. Today is the day that we close on my grandaddy's house and it is such a hard thing. I spent a lot of my time there the past 20 years of my life and I loved him so much. Everything from the walls to the toilet paper were evidence of his presence. I loved him more than words. He was such a stickler for rules and for things to be perfect, but he was a constant presence in my life and I will forever be thankful for him. I will have furniture and knick knacks, but the feeling of his presence when I walked into his condo I will miss. I will just have to tuck those feelings into my heart forever.

Enough saddness.

I better get to work and get focused on my day. I pray all who read this have a great day and that He will show you His little blessings no matter what your struggle.

Monday

Today was a a typical start to a week. Getting up early and starting out very sleepy. MEgan came down about 6:30 to tell me her belly hurt and I of course began to worry that it might develop into something else with all that is going around. The good thing is she is all about her daddy when she is sick. That enabled me to head on to work. Keep in mind had she been sick, I would have stayed home. It is very common for Megan to complain about her stomach. It has slacked off some now that I am working more days, but still you never know. She has a great fear of throwing up and so anytime she feels the least bit sick it scares her.

Needless to say about 10:30 I got a call from my mom telling me that she had indeed gotten sick. I tried to get everything done and head home. I knew she was in great hands though.
I was thinking today though how I do worry about my kids... I want them to feel well, not hurt or be scared. The thought came to me that our Lord must feel the same way if not even more about us. He hates it when we are hurting or bothered by some big task. If only we would go to him and settle into his presence like our little ones come to us for care. The verse that comes to my mind is one that says, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest".

Luckily I feel she is better. She and Peter both are now laying very quietly in their beds preparing to go to sleep. SUCH PEACE!! I love the sound of their little breath as they sleep.

For now I hope everyone has a great night. Remember the one who will give you rest when you are troubled. He loves it when we run to Him! Goodnight.

THE WEEKEND

This is Sunday! I missed writing yesterday but my computer was down. Yesterday was a great day. I got some cleaning done and then about mid afternoon we went to dinner with some friends and their children. Lorrie and Fred then invited us over for games and we played a new game to me called ROOK. I LOVED IT!!!! It was to me the perfect night, one that I wish could go on forever. Being with great friends. The kids playing and the adults having a great time too. Things like that renew me greatly. Time with friends is wonderful.

Today is Sunday and Caleb and I are cleaning the house and garage out trying to get ready for some new furniture and items that were my grandaddy's. I want to make the perfect space for everything. It amazes me how much junk and stuff we accumulate in such a short amount of time. I just cleaned out not too long ago. Believe it or not Caleb is my organizer and can fit things and arrange things like no other. ( I know that is hard for so many to believe).

It all makes me realize how wonderful God is and how much abundance (family, friends, life) he gives to us whether we see it day to day or not. We get bogged down with mundane weekly routines and forget to thank God EVERY TIME something wonderful happens. Even when the hard things happen we should still praise him. Watching Megan praise the Lord with songs. It is so great to see that even the small things are hidden in her heart. Those too are the things we must be so thankful for. What better gift than a child who at an early age knows to call on the Lord..... Lord thank you for your blessings!!!!

Check out my Slide Show!

Today is an early morning for me. I have gotten spoiled all week by being able to sleep in. My little one even slept until 7:30 on some days which is a great start to any day. We have remained fairly well dispite all the flu and sickness going around. I was up all night with some respiratory crud and finally fell asleep in the downstairs chair about 5am only to get back up at 6 for work. Today will be a good day because it is Friday and the weekend is here. Hopefully it will be very restful.