Thursday

Well today was very busy. I got up early and started my day by going to my grandaddy's inorder to meet the movers to help me get some of his furniture to bring to my house. The morning went very fast. The feeling was very bitter sweet. I love his condo and I have always found so much peace through the years as I have entered into it. Today, since I was the last to get my stuff, as I entered the condo, it was very empty. I began to think over how many times I had prowled through his cabinets for whatever I could find, or showed up only to find him asleep sitting straight up in his easy chair. He was always a man who loved giving to other people.

Anyway as I was moving stuff out and into my own home I got into work mode and began to forget all my feelings that I had had earlier in the day. I began to put stuff away and make room for what was new. I almost felt as if he were right there coaching me along to keep going . Needless to say I left for a while and went to get the kids and take Megan to dance. When I came home tonight I felt such a peace. THe kids were asleep and as I came in, my house just smelled like him and his house. He was the cleanest man I have ever met and everything he touched just oozed freshness.

I have never met a man more polished and refined in all my life.

I think in the days that have laid between his death and today I have felt like I have not had time to just CRY. I think I find that the times when I am alone I fill my mind with anything I can to not have to think about the inevitable. I felt I was silly to not let go of him. He was my sounding board, my dear friend, a brilliant grandfather and even better great grandfather. He was such a hero to me. I do not think I have wanted to let that go. I felt like today that the Lord allowed me wonderful closure and the ability to know that even HE ( God) cares about the small stuff more than anyone else ever will. It is wonderful to see the Lord show up when you need him the most.