Be Who YOU Are!!!

So many times I have felt like I was in a rut. Trying to be somebody I was not. I grew up and had a wonderful life. I was exposed to many things and enjoyed my life. I have been doing some sole searching this past year so far and it has come to a major point this past week. Through my search I have realized how throughout life I have been told who I was and what I liked. Even to be more exact I have been taught what I did not like. Anyway, yes I am a mom and a wife, I am an employee at a large state school, I am a friend to those who let me in. I am all the things that everyone else in the world seems to be, but I have realized just this past month..... I AM ME!!! I like me, yes I have days and even weeks where life is hectic and I lose track of me, but for the most part I enjoy being the person that I am. I think what has inspired this intense sole searching is the fact that I have this little 3 year old that is busting at the seams of life. She is such an individual who is so ready to take on the world. She is uninhibited, she is smart, ( too smart sometimes), she is definite on what she wants most all the time. I look at her and think, "Please God do not ever take this away and do not let me do anything to stunt this drive within her."

I think looking at her I have realized that I am a person too. I am a person too. I have for so long stiffened the gifts God has given me because they did not fit in with the norm. I have put aside a passion for life, my husband, my friends, and even my God, because it seemed like it was not the right time or place to exhibit it. Am I ashamed of this, of course I am. I feel sometimes as if God has called me to be something that I have decided on my own to stiffle.

I guess what I am saying is that I am so ready to be what the inside of my heart was made to me. I am ready to do things even if people will think I am odd. I am ready to love life no matter what happens. I am ready to serve God no matter how extreme it seems. I am ready to act as in love with life, my husband, my kids, my daily routine as I really am. Yes I would love to stay home with my children, but now it seems that is not in the "plan". So instead of complaining, I will be happy where God has placed me because there is just as much for me to do for God there as anywhere.

Ok here is the thing I have been a chameleon my whole life fitting in, blending in. I was molded to be this way.... I am here to say.... I am breaking out of this mold... so WATCH OUT WORLD!!!